Big Bad Bob

(This is the main character of a tall tale that hasn’t been written yet. Paul Bunyan, Pecos Bill, and now, Big Bad Bob.)

Way out west in Sacramento lives the baddest man alive
Weighing 300 pounds from his head to the ground
He stands a full 6 foot 5
He’s got muscles on his muscles and tattoos everywhere
And with the beard on his face and hair all over the place
He looks like a grizzly bear

There goes Big Bad Bob
Strutting his stuff ‘round the neighborhood
There goes Big Bad Bob
That dude ain’t no good

Half of his teeth are missing, his nose has been broken twice
And the smell of his breath will scare you to death
His heart, it’s cold as ice
He eats when he gets hungry and sleeps when he gets tired
And when he’s looking to fight, you better get out of sight
Man, run like your feet’s on fire

He used to be the sweetest baby boy
Now he’s lost his inner child
Unemployed and running wild

He rides a Harley Davidson motorcycle as fast as it can go
And if you get in his way, you’ll have plenty to say
When you’re telling your tale of woe